Joy in My Heart, Ease in My Body: Addressing Trauma Through Intuitive Eating

How many rules do you have for your life?

If I think back on the last 13 years of my life, I could probably share a few books’ worth of rules I have followed at one time or another:

  1. Fat people aren’t lovable. Don’t be fat, no matter what.

  2. If I restrict carbs and increase protein, I can lose weight the Atkins way.

  3. If I restrict protein, restrict carbs and eat small meals, I can lose weight the “vegetarian” way.

  4. If I restrict certain sauces, remove all sugar, eat higher fat, I can try to eat “paleo.”

  5. If I just eat “clean” and get rid of everything processed in my house, then I can be pure at last.

  6. Fat people aren’t allowed to enjoy eating. They should be ashamed. I will be ashamed of eating.

  7. Every bite I eat can lead me to ultimate doom (aka weight gain).

  8. Never, ever relax. That’s how you get lazy and fat.

This is just the tip of the iceberg. In any given day, I was responsible for keeping up with some combination of the rules above. And if I wasn’t following them, the critters in my head were warning me of my ultimate demise: you’ll never be loved, you’ll never have a family, you’ll never have a good job.

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