Exploring Spiritual Bypassing Through an American Christian Lens

Like all legitimate spiritual revelations, I was first introduced to this term while swiping between a text conversation and memes about furry animals.

My friends and I toss just about anything into our texts, everything from the mundane to the interpersonal. 

One friend asked if I had ever heard of something called “spiritual bypassing.” 

I said, no, even though the term itself felt like it was on fire in my belly.

I didn’t know it properly, but my body recognized it instantly.

She pointed me toward some Instagram posts, and I began to read about spiritual bypassing wherever I could explore it—mainly in the context of New Age spirituality.

No matter how much I searched, I couldn’t find spiritual bypassing presented in the context of Christianity—the theology I was raised in. I asked my group of friends in Exvangelical if they had heard of the term, and the majority of people said, “No, but I know I’ve experienced it.” 

I found myself empty-handed from the usual plethora of resources online, so I snagged a copy of the book written by the doctor who first coined the term. 

Dr. John Welwood explores “spiritual bypassing” in his book, “Toward a Psychology of Awakening.” And I have been combing through it the last few days. This is a book that is dense and reads much like a textbook, and even so, I have been devouring it and underlining and feeling like a light is shining on something I used to believe was the ultimate spiritual expression.

“Spiritual bypassing” is Dr. Welwood’s attempt to describe a “disturbing” and “common tendency” he found in his professional work—a habit where Western religious people use spiritual ideas and practices to avoid dealing with their emotional “unfinished business.”

In his work as a clinical psychologist and psychotherapist he witnessed in his patients a “desire to find release from earthly structures that seem to entrap us.”

Spiritual bypassing is, in effect:

using spiritual practices to rise above or avoid emotional and personal issues.

Welwood’s words, so far, have been landing in me like a thud.

This is precisely what the last 15 years of my life have been seeking to undo.

From a young age I had this deeply ingrained, knee-jerk reaction to anything that was unpleasant. Push it down, silence it, swallow hard—and turn your eyes to Jesus!

This was my family’s way of dealing with things, and I had been trained good.

The general consensus was “Why engage in anything that pulls us away from keeping our attention solely on Jesus?”

And so we buried, we ignored, we silenced, we pretended. And we suffered.

Spiritual bypassing is the most succinct way I’ve encountered to encapsulate what I experienced growing up.

Why spiritual bypassing matters today

The interesting thing about spiritual bypassing is, the more I explore it, the more I see it running rampant in America’s political climate.

I have struggled watching the Christian defense of the Trump administration. I am heart broken and bewildered by the ways that Christians dismiss human pain and suffering, and wiggle their way around scripture to cast their blessing on sexism, racism, homophobia, human oppression, abuse and more.

I am deeply, earnestly, trying to understand how we got to where we are today in our country: where people of faith seem EAGER to find spiritual permission to reject immigrants or disqualify the Black Lives Matter movement. 

There is a lot on the line right now, both as a society and within our family units. 

And I think exploring and understanding spiritual bypassing might be one key to opening a door to healing and compassionate transformation.

Goals for exploring spiritual bypassing

I’m not under any delusions that there are layers to our own healing as individuals and as a nation right now. I don’t think that understanding and exposing and healing from spiritual bypassing will be a panacea to all the inner strife we’re experiencing right now.

I’d also like to point out that whenever I think that “they” need to change, this is my spiritual red flag to turn inward and recognize that I am always the first person who is in need of compassionate transformation.

So that’s my first goal: I want to shine a light on my complicity with spiritual bypassing as it occurs today.

My second goal is to put spiritual bypassing into the context of Christianity as I experienced it growing up and am experiencing it now.

I want to first and foremost reach people who have lost contact with their family members in the last few years over extreme political alliances. Your healing matters, and my hope is that by understanding how spiritual bypassing works, that you can find peace in what you’re experiencing.

Who I am and am not 

It’s important that you know a few things about me.

I’m a student of this concept, and remain open to exploring all the ways that other issues might compound the habit of spiritual bypassing

I am someone recovering from spiritual and emotional abuse, childhood neglect, chronic gaslighting and more. This will be a safe space for anyone, regardless of their religious or spiritual path.

I am not a therapist or mental health expert. But I am someone who has ground to stand on when it comes to spiritual bypassing. I have been in therapy for 15+ years and understand a lot about the nuances within mental health, but I will always err on the side of connecting readers with qualified mental health experts.

And finally, this exploration is not a veiled attempt whatsoever to “convert” you away from your religious beliefs. 

You are the only person in charge of your spiritual path.

I will likely be critical of Christian beliefs and practices in this exploration, primarily because this is where I can speak with credibility and integrity.

I lived a life primed for spiritual bypassing, and it’s taken years to undo its damage.

Please don’t confuse my criticism for proselytizing. 

I’m starting at the beginning, right alongside you

 As I mentioned earlier, the book I’m using as the foundation for this exploration is John Welwood’s, “Toward a Psychology of Awakening.”

It is dense. It is packed full. And it reads much like a textbook. 

I don’t expect others to want to deep dive into such a complex book, so I’ll be writing blogs here about topics that Welwood explores. So if you’re a blog reader, you can sign up to receive my emails here.

I also recognize that challenging spiritual topics need to be presented in accessible ways. This is why I’ll also be doing my best to create graphics and prompts related to spiritual bypassing on my Instagram page. You can follow along here if blogs just aren’t your jam.

It’s hard to say what will come of this exploration. So far I have read 1/20 of Welwood’s book and know there are so many directions we could go in the coming weeks.

I’m starting this deep dive right alongside you, which means I need you to come along and tell me what you’re discovering (or not discovering) along the way. The easiest way to do that is probably through Instagram, but if you’d like to dialogue on the blogs, I’ll be open to anything constructive and respectful.

Above all, I’m committed to being a vessel for healing and inner transformation—first and foremost for myself, and then for all sentient beings who are suffering and eager to find a compassionate alternative to whatever 2020 is dredging up.

Please come along if you’re committed to healing and transforming the world from where you sit today.