Why she loved yellow

I did not know much about her.

Why she prayed in her rocker

or why we never saw her much growing up

Or why I didn't feel sad when she was dying.

I do not know why I keep seeing her in my dreams

Of flooding sunshine, washing dishes and rocking side to side

Why she loved sunflowers or citrus or lemon lozenges

When berry was what I wanted more.

I did not know why she wrote letters about church

Imploring me to go, lest I disappoint God

I did not know why I made her shamed from far away

or whether she ever tried to reach me and I just couldn't see her back.

But today I do know why she loved yellow.

The dark around us all, at some time or another,

Feels impossible to fight, but with a little help from the yellow of the stars

you can see enough to wash the dishes in the dark.